Limericks

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Limericks are a type of short poem that tells a cute or funny story; they are named for a city in Ireland. They follow an A-A-B-B-A rhyme scheme, with the B lines often being slightly shorter. Limericks can be good for pronunciation practice, especially stress and rhythm.


1 Regular limericks

1.

There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn’t it fall
Because its feet stuck
Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss things so small?


2.

A young rock-n-roller named Clyde
Always kept his guitar by his side.
All night he was strumming
And never stopped humming
Till he ran out of rhythm and died.


3.

A flea and a fly in a flue[1]
Were trapped, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
Said the flea, “Let us fly!”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.


4.

An old maid, a foolish romantic,[2]
Said as she crossed the Atlantic,
“Now is my chance
To find true romance
On this beautiful ship, the Titanic.


5.

There once was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe.
He awoke with a fright,
In the middle of the night,
And found that his dream had come true!


6.

A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Asked the two of the tutor,
“Is it easier to toot,
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?”


7.

I wish that my room had a floor.
I don’t care as much for a door.
But this walking around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore.


8.

There was a fisherman named Fisher
Who fished for some fish in a fissure.[3]
Till a fish with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in.
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher.


2 Science limericks

1.

There was once a lady from Bright[4]
Who could travel faster than light.
She went out one day,
And in a relative way,
Came back the previous night.

2.

A bridge engineer, Mr. Crumpett,
Built a bridge for the good River Bumpett.
A mistake in the plan
Left a gap in the span,
But he said, “Well, they'll just have to jump it.[5]


3 Notes

  1. flue = furnace pipe
  2. Old maid = an old unmarried woman
  3. Fissure: a narrow opening in the ground
  4. Bright = a British city
  5. Source: Knock at a Star (1999)