Limericks
Limericks are a type of short poem that tells a cute or funny story; they are named for a city in Ireland. They follow an A-A-B-B-A rhyme scheme, with the B lines often being slightly shorter. Limericks can be good for pronunciation practice, especially stress and rhythm.
1 Regular limericks
1.
There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn’t it fall
Because its feet stuck
Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss things so small?
2.
A young rock-n-roller named Clyde
Always kept his guitar by his side.
All night he was strumming
And never stopped humming
Till he ran out of rhythm and died.
3.
A flea and a fly in a flue[1]
Were trapped, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
Said the flea, “Let us fly!”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
4.
An old maid, a foolish romantic,[2]
Said as she crossed the Atlantic,
“Now is my chance
To find true romance
On this beautiful ship, the Titanic.
5.
There once was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe.
He awoke with a fright,
In the middle of the night,
And found that his dream had come true!
6.
A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Asked the two of the tutor,
“Is it easier to toot,
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?”
7.
I wish that my room had a floor.
I don’t care as much for a door.
But this walking around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore.
8.
There was a fisherman named Fisher
Who fished for some fish in a fissure.[3]
Till a fish with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in.
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher.
2 Science limericks
1.
There was once a lady from Bright[4]
Who could travel faster than light.
She went out one day,
And in a relative way,
Came back the previous night.
2.
A bridge engineer, Mr. Crumpett,
Built a bridge for the good River Bumpett.
A mistake in the plan
Left a gap in the span,
But he said, “Well, they'll just have to jump it.[5]
