Newspaper headlines (humorous)
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Newspaper headlines
Real headlines from real US newspapers, most of them collected and published by the Columbia Journalism Review: Generally, small town or small city newspapers are not known for their writing expertise.
- 12 on Their Way to Cruise Among Dead in Plane Crash
- Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Chinese Apeman Dated
- Chou Remains Cremated
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
- Deer Kill 130,000
- Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Hershey Bars Protest
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold as Pet Fish
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- New Housing for Elderly Not Yet Dead
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
- Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Two soviet ships collide, one dies
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- War dims hope for peace
